Tuesday, July 7, 2009

3. l

We are sitting on the Lonliness Rock. I can hear cymbals ringing in a temple on the other side. A faint clinking noise. And a high pitched voice of a man. Singing words undecipherable due to the distance between us.

I light my joint and pass on the light to Piyush. He lights his one with it.

I take a deep drag. I hold up the smoke and blow out as less as I can. I wait for some moments. It begins affecting. I get drenched in its daze.

A lethargic stupor paints me in itself. I absorb its paint as if it were mine. I know it’s having the same effect on Piyush. We sit silently tripping on the cars passing on the Expressway.

“Bhenchod…they were together today!” Piyush drones.
“Bhenchod…because of you!”I shout!
“yes Madarchod…………You!!!”
“How me?...Maine kya kiya”?...What did I do?”
“You couldn’t stand up for your love….Chutiya!!!”

Outburst! I was blasting into pieces. And I was enjoying it!

Piyush hid his face in his palms and sobbed. His body jerked at his each whimper.
“Why are you crying now like women?...Saala chutiya…look where he has gone…and where you are…you should have acted fast…but you were busy with your love in the eyes bull shit….this is what you are left for now….weeping like a widow!!!....Lundfakir saala!” I continued.

He sobbed more. I enjoyed it more.

“You saw him having ice cream…..he must be having dinner with her later….then he will take her for drinks later….and then he will have her….and you will be left here alone to masturbate…gaand fattu saalaa!!”

“What should I do then?” He says with wet eyes and helplessness.

“Suck my dick!!....I asked you that day…What do ‘You’ want to do?....you had no answer then….I said I will ask you later….and I am asking you again today…..What do you want to do?...decide fucker….decide NOW!”

“How can I?” He was almost sitting on the ground.

“Why can’t you?” I stood beside his contracted posture.
“Because he is my friend!”

We resembled the flutist and the warrior on the cover of Bhagvad Geeta.

“So….?..” I begin. “So what?...So you will leave the women you love for him?....and will he do the same for you?”

My question put him in a prolonged stupor. His trip had mixed with his study. He was floating towards a limitless destination in the darkness of gloom. And he had to keep floating till he got back to the point where he stared at.

“I ask again…will he do the same for you??” I had to wake him up from his trance.

He raises his head and looks at me undecided.

“What happened?...You aren’t able to answer?”

He shakes his head.

“Then we shall test!” I say concretely.

I know certain realities for sure. And even when I am stoned, they stay with me. Or maybe, only they stay with me. And I know what answer will Piyush get.

I feed my revenge its first piece of flesh. The game has begun.

Now I can go near to my heartbreak. Caressing Apu’s loss in peace.